BrianTop marks for not tryin'So kind of you to bless usWith your effortlessnessWe're grateful and so strangely comforted And I wonderAre you puttin' us under?'Cause we can't take our eyesOff the T-shirt and tie combinationWell, see you later, innovator Some want to kiss, some want to kick youThere's not a net you couldn't slip throughOr at least that's the impression I get'Cause you're smooth and you're wetAnd she's not aware yet but she's yours She'll be sayin', "Use me""Show me the jacuzzi."I imagine that it's there on a plateYour whole rendezvous rate means thatYou'll never be frightened to make them wait For a whileI doubt it's your styleNot to get what you set out to acquireThe eyes are on fireYou are the unforecasted storm (Brian)Calm, collected and commanding(Top marks for not tryin')You leave the other stories standin'With your renditions and jokesBet there's hundreds of blokesThat have wept 'cause you've stolen their... ThunderAre you puttin' us under?'Cause we can't take our eyesOff the T-shirts and ties combinationWell, see you later, innovator

It's sped up to the point where they provokeThe punchline before they have told the jokeCan see a desperation to be seenStaring at the television screen It's sped up to the point where they provokeYou to tell the fucking punchline before you have told the jokeSorry sunshine it doesn't existIt wasn't in the top 100 list And it's the thousandth time that it's even bolderDon't be surprised when you get bent overThey told ya, but you were dyin' for it Saw it and she grabbed itAnd it wasn't what it seemedThe kids all dream of making itWhatever that means Another variation on a themeA tangle on the television and the magazineD'you reckon that they do it for a joke?D'you reckon that they make 'em take an oath?That says that "We are defendersOf any poseur or professional pretender around" And when did your listReplace the twist and turn, and the fistReplaced a kissDon't concern us with your bollocksI don't want your prayerSave it for the morning after And it's the thousandth time that it's even bolderDon't be surprised when you get bent overThey told ya, but you were gagging for it Let's have a game on the Teddy PickerNot quick enough, can I have it quicker?Already thick and you're gettin' thicker Let's have a game on the Teddy PickerNot quick enough, can I have it quicker?Already thick and you're gettin' thicker Presuming that all things are equalWho'd want to be men of the peopleWhen there's people like you?

He knew what he wanted to sayBut he didn't know how to word itThe dirty little HerbertWas seeking an escapeBut the place was well guarded(The guiltiness that started)Soon as the other part had stopped D is for DelightfulAnd try and keep your trousers onI think you should knowYou're his favourite worst nightmare D is for Desperately trying to simulateWhat it was that was alrightThree quarters of an hour ago(That had led him to be in a position)And every copper missionOn every other episode (Ahh...) He's nearing the brink, but he thinks firstThe parallel universe perhaps could be the perfect sceneHe's nearing the brink, but he thinks firstThe parallel universe perhaps could be the perfect sceneHe's nearing the brink, but he thinks firstThe parallel universe perhaps could be the perfect sceneHe's nearing the brink, but he thinks firstThe parallel...I think you should know you're his favourite worst nightmare D is for DelightfulAnd try and keep your trousers onYou should knowYou're his favourite worst nightmare

You used to get it in your fishnetsNow you only get it in your night dressDiscarded all the naughty nights for nicenessLanded in a very common crisis Everything's in order in a black holeNothing seems as pretty as the past, thoughThat Bloody Mary's lacking in TabascoRemember when you used to be a rascal? Oh, the boy's a slagThe best you ever hadThe best you ever hadIs just a memory And those dreamsWeren't as daft as they seemNot as daft as they seem, my loveWhen you dream them up Flicking through a little book of sex tipsRemember when the boys were all electric?Now when she tells she's gonna get itI'm guessing that she'd rather just forget it Clinging to not getting sentimentalSaid she wasn't going, but she went stillLikes her gentlemen not to be gentleWas it a meccadobber or a betting pencil? Oh, the boy's a slagThe best you ever hadThe best you ever hadIs just a memory And those dreamsWeren't as daft as they seemNot as daft as they seem, my loveWhen you dream them up, oh flo Where did you go?Where did you go?Where did you go?Oh, oh Falling aboutYou took a left off Last Laugh LaneYou were just soundin' it outYou're not coming back again Falling aboutYou took a left off Last Laugh LaneYou were just soundin' it outYou're not coming back again You used to get it in your fishnets (Falling about)Now you only get it in your night dressDiscarded all the naughty nights for niceness (You took a left off Last Laugh Lane)Landed in a very common crisis Everything's in order in a black hole (You just sounded it out)Nothing seems as pretty as the past, thoughThat Bloody Mary's lacking in Tabasco (And you're not coming back again)Remember when you used to be a rascal?

Running off over next door's gardenBefore the hour is doneIt's more a question of feelingThan it is a question of fun The confidence is the balaclavaI'm sure you'll baffle 'em goodWill the ending reek of salty cheeksAnd runny makeup alone? Oh will blood run down the faceOf a boy bewildered and scorned?Will you find yourself in a skirmish?Will you wish you'd never been born? You tie yourself to the tracksAnd there isn't no going backAnd it's wrong, wrong, wrongBut we'll do it anyway, 'cause we love a bit trouble Are you pulling her from a burning buildingOr throwing her to the sharks?Can only hope that the endingIs as pleasurable as the start The confidence is the balaclavaI'm sure you baffle 'em straightAnd it's wrong, wrong, wrongShe can hardly wait That's right, he won't let her out his sightNow the shaggers performAnd the daggers are drawnWho's the crooks in this crime? That's right, he won't let her out his sightNow the shaggers performAnd the daggers are drawnWho's the crooks in this crime? That's right, he won't let her out his sightThat's right, he won't let her out his sightThat's right, he won't let her out his sightYou'd be able to postAny day of the mostFor the sights of all time You knew that it would be troubleRight before the very first kissQuiet and assumingBut you heard that they were the naughtiest She pleaded with you to take it offBut you resisted and fought"I'm sorry sweetheart, I'd much ratherKeep on the balaclava."

In a foreign place, the saving grace was the feelingThat it was her heart that he was stealingOh, he was ready to impressAnd the fierce excitement, the eyes are brightHe couldn't wait to get awayAnd I bet that Juliet was just the icing on the cakeMake no mistake, no And even if somehow he could have shown you the place you wantedWell I'm sure you could have made it that bit better on your own And I bet she told a million people that she'd stay in touchBut all the little promises that don't mean muchWhen there's memories to be madeAnd I hope you're holding hands by New Year's EveThey made it far too easy to believeThat true romance can't be achieved these days And even if somehow they could have shown you the place you wantedWell I'm sure you could have made it that bit better on your ownYou are the only ones who know

Well the morning was completeAnd there was tears on the steering wheel, dripping on the seatSeveral hours or several weeksI'd have the cheek to say they're equally as bleak It's the beginning of the endThe car went up the hill and disappeared around the bendAsk anyone, they'll tell you that it's these times that it tendsTo start to break in halfTo start to fall apartHold on to your heart Do me a favour and break my noseDo me a favour and tell me to go awayDo me a favour and stop asking questions And she walked away while her shoes were untiedAnd the eyes were all red, you could see that we'd criedAnd I watched and I waited till she was insideForcing a smile and waving goodbye Curiosity becomes a heavy loadToo heavy to holdToo heavy to holdCuriosity becomes a heavy loadToo heavy to holdWill force you to be cold Do me a favour and ask if you need some helpShe said, "Do me a favour and stop flattering yourself."And to tear apart the ties that bindPerhaps "fuck off" might be too kindPerhaps "fuck off" might be too kind

This house is a circus, berserk as fuckWe tend to see that as a perk though, lookWhat it's done to your friendsTheir memories are pretendAnd the last thing that they want is for the feeling to end This house is a circus, berserk as fuckWe tend to see that as a perk though, lookWhat it's done to your friendsTheir memories are pretendAnd the last thing that they want is for the feeling to end There's a room for the trouble and there's lovers to be hadThose walls will make sinners out of such lovely lads Scaling the corridors for maidens in the mazeAnd in the anomaly, you'll slip into familiar ways And we're... Forever unfulfilledAnd can't think whyLike a search for murder cluesIn dead men's eyes Forever unfulfilledAnd can't think whyLike a search for murder cluesIn dead men's eyes The more you open your mouth, the more you're forcing performanceAnd all the attention is leading me to feel important(Completely obnoxious, completely obnoxious now)Now that we're here, we may as well go too far Wringling around in incidents you won't forgetAnd there's certainly some venom in the looks that you collectAimlessly gazing at the faces in the queueAnd we're struggling with the notion that it's life, not film This house is a circus, berserk as fuck (We're forever unfulfilled)We tend to see that as a perk though, look (And can't think why)What it's done to your friendsTheir memories are pretend (Like a search for murder clues)And the last thing that they want is for the feeling to end

If you were there, bewareThe serpent soul pinchesThree hundred and fifty no-thank-you'sAnd nobody flinches Go on, girl, go onGive us something gruesomeWe require your griefThe thugs help the thiefs As they're trying to robThe words from her gobAnd take the swords to the innocence And if you were there, bewareThe serpent soul pinchesCan't you sense she was never meantTo fill column inches? And you had enoughWhat you're trying to dig upIsn't there to be dugThe thiefs help the thugs As they're trying to beatThe good grace of her sweetheartOut to the point she'll comply And why? Leave her on her own If I'd have known, then I wouldn't have said it I wouldn't have said it if I would have known Why? Leave her on her ownIf I predicted tears, then I wouldn't have said it I wouldn't have said it if I would have known (Ahh, ahh, ahh) There's a circle of witchesAmbitiously vicious they areAnd our attempts to remind themOf reason won't get us that far And I don't know what it is that they want I don't know what it is that they want But I haven't got it to give She hasn't got it to give

Do the bad thingTake off your wedding ringBut it won't make it that much easierIt might make it worse Oh, the night's like a whirlwindSomebody's girlfriend is talking to meBut it's alright, she's saying That he's not gonna slap meOr try to attack meHe's not the jealous type And I only need to get half an excuse and I'm awayBut when there's no excuses that's much easier to say I've been beforeAnd all these capers makers to the floorThen to ignoreShe's talking but I'm not entirely sure, ah Do the bad thingTake off your wedding ringBut it won't make it that much easierIt might make it worse I suddenly saw thatSomebody's partner is talking to meBut I don't know that's what she isn'tShe murmurs things to confirm that the tragedy is trueAnd I knew how could she not she could have anyone she wantsAnd I'm struggling to think of an immediate response Like I don't mindBe a big mistake for you to waitAnd help me waste your timeReally, love, it's fineSaid, "Really, love, it's fine." And then the first time, it occurred that there was something to destroyI knew before the invitation that there was this ployOh, but she carried on suggesting, I struggled to refuseShe said, "It's the red wine this time," but that is no excuse