You say, "Why does everything revolve around you?"You say, "Why does everything I do confound you?"You say, that I pull the world from under youYou can't go through it this time And I can be good, and I would - if I knew I was understoodAnd it'll be great, just wait - Or is it too little too late? One day, this embarrassment will fade behind meAnd that day, I could think of things that won't remind meAnd these days it's unbearable for both of us,We can't discuss it this way I'm gaining strength, trying to learn to pull my own weightI'm gaining pounds at the precipice of too lateJust wait And I can be good, and I would - if I knew I was understoodAnd it'll be great, just wait - Or is it too little too late? Record and play, after years of endless rewindYesterday wasn't half as tough as this timeThis time isn't HellLast time, couldn't tellThis mind wasn't well Next time, hope I'm... Going to be good, and I wouldIf I knew I was understood And it'll be great, just wait Or is it too little too late?

Wiped out down the stairsI'll bet you there's a song in there,I'm not sure I'm prepared to write it down.That guy should be meI'd look much better on t.v.Then the world would seeThat I can do anything. I can be thatBut soon you'll see thatI will never do anything. Let's play tic-tac-toeI'll play X, you can be the O.Thoughts of turning pro have crossed my mind.I could make a mintFill my pockets with more than lint.I'll give you a hintIt involves the "internet". I can be thatBut soon you'll see thatI will never do anything. Don't write me off as an also ran.Just mark me down as an angry man.Got a big chip, you want a fat lip?How 'bout a mouthful of Chiclets?Life passed me by, but it's not my fault.I'll lick my wounds, could you pass the salt?I can be that, but soon you'll see thatI will never do anything If I were the kingAll my subjects would dance and singThey could kiss my ringAnd kiss my assWhen I'm old and grey,I'll look back on my life and say"Give me one more day,And still I'll never do anything." I can be thatBut soon you'll see thatI will never do anythingI can be thatBut soon you'll see thatI will never do anything

Well let me tell you if you're feeling alone,Instead of whining and moaning,Just get on the phone, tell her you're coming homeIf you need her, you should be there If you scream in your sleep, or collapse in a heapAnd spontaneously weep, then you know you're in deepIf you need her, you should be thereGo Home There's nothing better than affairs of the heartTo make you feel so good then tear you apartMake up your mind and stick it out or start again You can't imagine what an effort it takesWhen you make a mistakeAnd you know in the wake that a heart's going to breakIf you need her, you should be thereBut if you're flummoxed and flushedAnd your heartbeat is rushedThen get out of the slushTell your dog team to mushIf you need her, you should be there,Go Home If you think of her as Joan of ArcShe's burning for you get your car out of parkIf you think of her as Catherine the GreatThen you should be the horse to help her meet her fateIf you need her, you should be thereGo Home You can't believe it but it's trueShe's given everything to youNow take a moment to be sureBefore you give it all to herWell now you're thinking that it's over at last,All your woes in the pastBut you've got to be fast; put your foot on the gasIf you need her, you should be thereSo now you're out from under the gun,And it's over and doneI won't spoil all the fun but if you were the oneThen she'll be there if you need herGo Home If you're lucky to be one of the fewTo find somebody who can tolerate youThen I shouldn't have to tell you againJust pack your bags and get yourself on a planeIf you need her, you should be thereGo Home

It's the perfect time of yearSomewhere far away from hereI feel fine enough, I guessConsidering everything's a messThere's a restaurant down the streetWhere hungry people like to eatI could walk but I'll just driveIt's colder than it looks outside It's like a dream you try to remember but it's goneThen you try to scream but it only comes out as a yawnWhen you try to see the world beyond your front doorTake your time 'cause the way I rhyme's gonna make you smileWhen you realize that a guy my size might take a whileJust to try to figure out what all this is for It's the perfect time of dayTo throw all your cares awayPut the sprinkler on the lawnAnd run through with my gym shorts onTake a drink right from the hoseAnd change into some drier clothesClimb the stairs up to my roomSleep away the afternoon It's like a dream you try to remember but it's goneThen you try to scream but it only comes out as a yawnWhen you try to see the world beyond your front doorTake your time 'cause the way I rhyme's gonna make you smileWhen you realize that a guy my size might take a whileJust to try to figure out what all this is for Pinch me, pinch me'Cause I'm still asleepPlease God, tell meThat I'm still asleep On an evening such as thisIt's hard to tell if I existPack the car and leave this townWho'll notice that I'm not around?I could hide out under thereI just made you say 'underwear'I could leave but I'll just stayAll my stuff's here anyway It's like a dream you try to remember but it's goneThen you try to scream but it only comes out as a yawnWhen you try to see the world beyond your front doorTake your time 'cause the way I rhyme's gonna make you smileWhen you realize that a guy my size might take a whileJust to try to figure out what all this is forTry to figure out what all this is forTry to see the world beyond your front doorTry to figure out what all this is for

I'm so cool, too bad I'm a loserI'm so smart, too bad I can't get anything figured outI'm so brave, too bad I'm a babyI'm so fly, that's probably why itFeels just like I'm falling for the first time I'm so green, it's really amazingI'm so clean, too bad I can't get all the dirt off of meI'm so sane, it's driving me crazyIt's so strange, I can't believe itFeels just like I'm falling for the first time Anyone perfect must be lying, anything easy has its costAnyone plain can be lovely, anyone loved can be lostWhat if I lost my direction, what if I lost sense of timeWhat if I nurse this infection, maybe the worst is behindIt feels just like I'm falling for the first timeIt feels just like I'm falling for the first time I'm so chill, no wonder it's freezingI'm so still, I just can't keep my fingers out of anythingI'm so thrilled to finally be failingI'm so done, turn me over cause itFeels just like I'm falling for the first time Anything plain can be lovely, anything loved can be lostMaybe I lost my direction, what if our love is the costAnyone perfect must be lying, anything easy has its costAnyone plain can be lovely, anyone loved can be lostWhat if I lost my direction, what if I lost sense of timeWhat if I nurse this infection, maybe the worst is behindmaybe the worst is behindmaybe the worst is behind

You walked into the roomAnd the whole place stopped and noticedStanding next to you, I feel hopeless and you know thisI've never been ashamed of my attractionI'd be happy if you gave me just a fractionAs we danced, I could see, in your eyesYou and me as senior citizens in love Followed your perfume out away from all the rabbleRight up to your room for a drink and travel ScrabbleYou, stationed in the warm glow of the t.v.Too patient as I'm playing L O V EAnd we laugh... and we laugh... and we laughAnd we have to or we'll end up in the bath And now we're in the bath, I'm already thinking marriageI know that in the past it was something I'd disparageYou turned down all the lights, I lit the candlesWe rolled around in robes and hotel sandalsThen you slept, and I dressed, and I leftAnd I guess I'll see you Monday like before Before all the fireworks explodedOur conversations were so loaded, innuendo flyingNow what can we say?Have a nice dayLooks like rain today... Now I'm in a cab, heading back to my apartmentEverything is drab, and I wish it never startedNow I've landed in this awkward situationHow can I just avoid a conversation?So I wait, come in late. It'd be greatIf you transferred out of state

The credits roll, the camera pansAnd in the mist our hero standsHe starts to speak, then folds his hands in prayerAn awkward pause, then what's my line?There's nothing left to say this timeAnd what would you say to a bad guy who's not there?In terms of Roman numerals,He's IV league with Roman PolanskiHe'd win an Oscar every time if he was only given the chance He started on the Broadway stageA product of another ageAn offer and a pilot drew him westThe series bombed, commercials cameAnd though nobody knew his nameThey all recognized the potential he possessedDeodorants and dental flossAnd how much does that new car costHis acting most methodical in You Don't Need a MedicalHe's branded like a racing car,He's like a movie star without movies.The week of Independence DayThe casting agent called to sayYour smile could save our movie and the world Buy buy buy buySell sell sellHow well you learnTo not discernWho's foe, and who is friendWe'll own them all in the end It goes like this, we have no choice; the minarets,The wailing voiceAnd vaguely Celtic music fills the airWe choose a foreigner to hate,The new Iraq gets more irateWe really know nothing about them, and no one caresAladdin and the forty thievesEnhanced by brand new special effectsSaddam and his cow disease spiced upWith some gratuitous sexA movie's made, a war is wonA low-speed chase, a smoking gunDistracts us while the actor takes the stand Buy buy buy buySell sell sellHow well you learnTo not discernWho's foe and who is friendWe'll own them all in the end

When you walked in, I said with a grinThat we were just talking about youWe all had to lie because you would cryIf you knew we were laughing at youIn the momentary lull before the band begins to playThere's an overwhelming stench of alibi Come on now, nowCome on now, nowEnjoy the humour of the situationCome on now, nowCome on now, nowEnjoy the humour of the situation I said on the phone "don't wait til I'm home"But I'm sure I could hear you cryingI said where I was, but you doubt it becauseIt's the caller I.D. you're buyingIn the hour that it took for me to drive up to the doorYou'd arranged all my belongings on the lawn Come on now, nowCome on now, nowEnjoy the humour of the situationCome on now, nowCome on now, nowEnjoy the humour of the situation Have you heard the one about the boyWho moved into the henhouse to sleep?He woke up with egg on his faceWhen he found out all the hens had crossed the street Come on now, nowCome on now, nowEnjoy the humour of the situationCome on now, nowCome on now, nowEnjoy the humour of the situation As I walked out, I thought about all I had left behind meI felt a chill because I was stillWearing the emperor's new clothesMy mind was racing with each chance that I had missedWhile your next door neighbour soaked me with the hoseI've never felt so small, I've never been so dissedAs I shiver, dripping, while the chorus goes: Come on now, nowCome on now, now

All around the room your things are placedAnd next to you he fills the spaceAnd so it seems your saving grace is only saving faceThe pictures of the two of you on holiday, on honeymoonYou thought that he was wanting you,But he was only wanting you toLet him off the hook He was your imaginary friend,You were partners 'til the endThen something bends, and then it breaks, your worst mistakeAccepting enemies on bended knees; a litany of tragediesYou're vexed, it seems you're hexed and after sex he expectsYou'll let him off the hook 'til Something that you heard while you were sleeping left youShaken while he stirred. When you awaken you will Make him eat his words right off theHook and line, every time The credit card receipts, the dirty sheetsSouvenirs of men who cheatIt all makes sense - with each offenceYou wanted to believe himHe could get away with murder one,And you would clean the smoking gunWith every crime, you bought each line,But not this time, you'll make himEat his words 'cause Something that you hear while you were sleeping left youShaken while he stirredWhen you awaken you willMake him eat his, make him eat hisWords while he's alone, 'cause you won't be around andFrom now on the phone stays off the hook

You left Billy with the kidAnd all the selfless things you did with BillyYou left your home town in the springAnd turned your back on everythingYou thought your life would just go byWithout a pause to wonder, don't be silly But you can't live your life in the baby seatYou've got to stand on your ownDon't admit defeat He came down from his retreatShe saw him later on the streetHe said "You are the only oneto recognise that I'm the son"So she bent down and kissed his feetAnd that night between the sheets she told him You can't live your life in the baby seatYou've got to stand on your ownDon't admit defeatYou can't live your life in the baby seatYou've got to stand on your ownDon't admit defeat 40 days at seaThen she turned and said to me"If we make it backI'll renounce Jack KerouacAnd all of that romantic crapLike I'm an artist dont' look back" Now we're living somewhere elseWe keep opinions to ourselvesBut still we seek a sneaky peek at heavenWhen the working week defeats usIf you think growing up is toughThen you're just not grown up enough, baby You can't live your life in the baby seatYou've got to stand on your ownDon't admit defeat