The girl works at the store, sweet Jane St. ClairWas dazzled by her smile while I shopped thereIt wasn't long before I lived with herI sang her songs while she dyed my hair Jane... divided, but I can't decide which side I'm onJane... decided only cowards stay, while traitors runJane... Jane I'd bring her gold and frankincense and myrrhShe thought that I was making fun of herShe made me feel I was fourteen againThat's why she thinks it's cooler if we'd just stay friends Jane... doesn't think a man could ever be faithfulJane... isn't giving me a chance to be shamefulJane... Jane I wrote a letter, she should have got it yesterdayThat life could be better by being togetherIs what I cannot explain to Jane The girl works at the store, sweet Jane St. ClairStill dazzled by her smile while I shoplift thereNo promises as vague as heavenNo Juliana next to my Evan Jane... desired by the people at her school and workJane... is tired 'cause every man becomes a lovesick jerkJane... Jane

Someone somewhere has unglued our epoxySomeone somewhere has unglued our epoxyAnd how I'm kissing you by proxy,Hope you don't mindSomewhere someone is dreaming of meTries to love me,Hope you don't mind I love youIntermittentlyI love youIntermittently She's a lot like you but she don't look like youOkay, she's not you,But she'll do fineI put my life on hold to avoid confrontationBut should I tell you to your face andRisk my hide? I love youIntermittentlyI love youIntermittently When immeasurablyTurns to intermittentlyThere's no use in going onExcept for fear of being wrongEvery morning I just hit the ground yawning... Stick around if you enjoy disaster'Cause if you can't see what I'm after,You must be blind I love youIntermittentlyI love youIntermittently Didn't have the heart to say goodbyeSo I continued in my charlatan waysDid I say heart? I meant to say gutsSo now I'm on my own and I'm sorry that you're gone.

A friend brought me flowers, she said they were lilacsI've never been good with plantsHer next presentation, a new dictionaryShe circled the word "romance" So enthusiastic, a little bit drasticI shaved her name in my headAs she beheld it, she said I misspelled itNeed more be said? These apples are delicious"As a matter of fact they are," she saidCan all this fruit be free? She wrote me a letter, as big as a phone bookI've never been big on mailI sent her a postcard from somewhere near LethbridgeAnd wondered if it still went by rail I've never been frightened of being enlightenedBut some things can go too farThough sometimes I stammer or mix up my grammarYou get what my meanings are These apples are delicious"As a matter of fact they are," she saidCan all this fruit be free? I'm not trying to sing a love songI'm trying to sing in tuneI know I am sometimes headstrongFalling in love, catching fireI want to be consumedWondering will I ever tire, will I ever tire? These apples are delicious"As a matter of fact they are," she saidCan all this fruit be free?

As we walk together through the autumn, nearing winterThrough the dying leave and trees we call our home and native landYou say you don't believe a thing I say, I say you don't believe a thingYou say you can't believe how I don't understand But I know you will be waitingOh I know you will be waitingOh I know You will be waitingWaiting there for me You say you cannot live with me, you need your own identityAnd now we air our laundry on national TVAnd so you hate my arrogance, my smothering and sitting on the fenceBut I'm afraid of the hard permanence of letting you go free But I know that you will be waitingOh I know you will be waitingYou will be waiting, waiting there for me I'm so sick of fighting and that effigy you're lighting looksAn awful lot like some one whose name I just can't quite placeAnd though you say it's not supposed to be me or an entityStill through the flames and smoke I see I recognize that face But I know that you will be waitingOh I know you will be waitingYou will be waiting, waiting there for me You were someone who would always tell me things I don't knowTell me where to go, there I'll always goAlways go there, whether or not you're waitingI don't care if you'll be waitingBut please say that you will be waiting there for me Don't you ever leave me, don't leave

A is for angry, which is what you are at meA is for adult, which is what I'll never beA is for applesauce, my favorite mealA is for Adam, which is how I sometimes feel;Like I'm the only man on earth and I've forgotten what that's worth A is for Arthur, he's a lovable drunkAmazing like Thelonius MonkA is for argument, A is for apparentA is for antagonism that's not even there andIt's just you begging for attention or something I won't even mention. (chorus)And I don't even know why you keep on tryingI don't even know why I keep on lyingThere are millions of people in worlds of their ownAnd two of them can't let go. A is for algebra, I learned it in schoolA is what Fonzie said, 'cause he was very cool.A is for adversery, A is for electionA is arousal, you are giving me an erectionC'mon I'm trying to show affection for longer than a half an hour. (chorus) I met a woman I used to knowLong before you, long agoAll I could say, after helloWas "are you still single?" A is attitude I can't help but wieldA is for arrogance; emotional shieldA is for acting, A is for abhorrentlyA is for asshole, which is what I am, how rude of me,I owe you an apology I'm sorry (chorus) Here we goA

Learn to lose, it's easier that wayWe've paid our dues, but we can't make life payAll across the world, people going madIn their mother's cars, the kids are feeling sadThat's how it is, and I'll see you later Everything old is new againEverything under the sunNow that I'm back with you againWe hug and we kissWe sit and make listsWe drink and I bandage your wrists Wasted youth -- there wasn't much to wasteDown to the bone, and still losing weightWith all the wishing in the world glistening in her eyesBut when I say I love her, she thinks I'm telling liesIs it all lost? No, we never had it Everything old is new againEverything under the sunAll of our fears come true againRecycle reuseResent and refuseOur parent's ideals and views She thinks the afterlife might just be where the action isWith high schools built like prisonsShe can't find a way to live Moved back home to fill the empty nestAfraid to roam, in love with second bestWhile somewhere in the world, she's hosting her own showAnd everyone she questions never seems to knowWho they are and where they are going Everything old is new againEverything under the sunNow that I'm without you againI wake up and eatI go back to sleepAnd let all my nightmares repeat

Am I the only one who gets to make you laugh,Laugh until you cry?Am I the only one who asks you to go,Go on without me?Am I the only one who loves when you leaveYour hair down in front of your eyes? (Chorus)And who, who do you think I am?And who, who do you think I'll be without you? Am I the only one who had to dress you upTo see how you fell down?Am I the only one who needs you to go,Go on about me?Am I the only one who loves when you leaveYour hair down in front of your eyes? (Chorus)

You're in an all-girl bandYour futon's second handYour parents understand but you don't careI have a job in a shopI'm an undercover copI make sure the customers aren't thieves Old at being youngYoung at being oldEverything's on hold within our evolution You're my alternative girlfriendI love you, now you cannot pretendThere's nothing left that won't cross over Last night we slept on the lawnYou woke up and I was goneBack to the dream; I dream to leaveMy life with her is a boreA worn-out metaphorNo more surprises up its sleeve Old at being youngYoung at being oldEverything's been sold to other's revolutions You're my alternative girlfriendI love you, now you cannot pretendThere's nothing left that won't cross over You live above your dad's four-car garageWith your vinyl and imaginary entourageIf I pull up in a U-Haul, pack up quickSo we can get out of this town 'cause it makes me sick You're my alternative girlfriendI love you, now you cannot pretendThere's nothing left that won't cross over You're my alternative girlfriend

Hey I'm a cow, I'm curiousHey watch me now, I'm furiousHey I'm a cow, I'm full of hateHey watch me now, I'm on your plate

When she was three her Barbies always did it on the first dateNow she's with me, there's never any need for them to demonstrateShe's like a baby, I'm like a cat;When we are happy, we both get fat and stillIt's never enough, it's never enough, it's never enough (chorus)But I don't tend to worry 'bout the things that other people sayAnd I'm learning that I wouldn't want it any other wayCall me crazy but it really doesn't matterAll that matters to me is sheHer life in a nutshellNo way would she want it to change meIt's not that easy 'cause my time is often decided for meFor me She memorized every pencil crayon color in the boxHer blue-green eyes complement the burnt sienna in her locksShe's at the movies, I'm on the phone;When we're separated we're never alone, but stillIt's never enough, it's never enough, no it's never enough (chorus) I fell down with no one there to catch me from fallingThen she came 'roundAnd only her tenderness stopped me from bawling my eyes outI'm OK, and that's why Her life in a nutshellNo way would she ever want it to change meIt's not that easy 'cause my time is often decided for meAnd I don't tend to worry bout the things that other people sayAnd I'm learning that I wouldn't want it any other wayCall me crazy, but it really doesn't matterAll that matters to me is she